Talking about death isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, is it. But the legendary Joan Rivers, a comedienne known for her sharp wit and even sharper tongue, wasn't afraid to tackle the topic head-on, even weaving it into her hilarious routines.
Remember Joan's last stand-up performance? She quipped to the audience that she could go at any minute. A few weeks before on Twitter, she joked about Big Brother contestants losing grandparents, referencing her own grandson's audition tape.
What made Joan's passing so shocking? Maybe it was her vibrant personality that defied her 80-plus years. Perhaps it was because, unlike many of us, she was comfortable discussing ageing and even death. She openly joked about it, even using her late husband's passing as material.
She embraced plastic surgery to maintain a youthful look, but never shied away from the reality of ageing. Memory loss was another comedic target. One tweet read: "I must admit I'm nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it!"
Her humour around these topics almost made it seem like she was invincible. After all, she certainly didn't act her age!
Beyond the Laughs: Planning for the Inevitable
Joan's jokes didn't hide the fact she was prepared for the inevitable. Recent TV tributes featured a poignant clip from her reality show where she earnestly pleaded with her daughter Melissa to be ready in case a surgery didn't go well. Joan, far from fearing her own mortality, reassured Melissa and her grandson Cooper would be fine. She emphasised she'd had a remarkable life, even if it ended that day.
Sadly, that day came on September 4th, 2014. But here's where Joan's foresight shines through. Melissa Rivers was able to make the decision to remove her mother from life support, and here's why that's important.
The Importance of Advance Directives
In the UK, family members can't automatically make decisions to take someone off life support. These choices require proper planning beforehand.
Many people think estate planning is just about wills and inheritance. However, planning for your later years, including your wishes around end-of-life care, is equally important. In the UK, everyone over 18 should have an advance decision (also known as a living will) in place.
This legal document allows you to appoint a decision-maker (a healthcare proxy) to make medical choices on your behalf if you become unable to do so yourself. There are different types of advance decisions, and it's best to discuss them with a solicitor specialising in estate planning.
Why Advance Decisions Matter
Imagine a situation where someone is on life support with no advance decision. The family would be forced to go to court for permission to make these choices. This can lead to messy legal battles, especially if loved ones disagree on the best course of action.
Joan, by having an advance decision, ensured Melissa could follow the doctors' recommendations and remove life support without court intervention.
Learning from Joan's Legacy
Joan Rivers' story is a powerful reminder to have open conversations with loved ones about your final wishes and theirs. Just like Joan, you can even use humour to make these discussions a little easier.
Feeling overwhelmed? Talking to a solicitor specialising in estate planning is a great first step. They can guide you through the process and ensure your wishes are documented correctly.
As Joan herself once said, there's no need to fear death. It's a part of life. It will happen, and it will undoubtedly be a sad and stressful time for the loved ones you leave behind. But by planning ahead, you can make this challenging time a little easier for them.